Socioeconomic status is of no help in identifying child sexual abuse. This is true whether we are speaking of the family of the victim or the family of the perpetrator. Sexual abuse appears to occur at all levels of income and education. Most of the families present an appearance of respectability. The vast majority of the perpetrators, before disclosure, hold jobs, function well in the community, and are respected by their peers. Most children who are victims of incest do not want to leave their family or have it disrupted. They simply want the abuse to stop.

Even when faced with evidence, the denial system of the family is usually very strong. Generally, family members will assert that nothing has happened or, if confronted with undeniable evidence, claim that "it will never happen again". In this situation, treatment is very difficult. If the victim returns home without intensive intervention in the family system, the old patterns of sexual abuse will continue.

Child abuse represents an action against a child. It is an act of commission. Generally, child abuse is categorized as physical, sexual, and emotional. To be more specific, CHILD PHYSICAL ABUSE is the non-accidental injury of a child. CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE is any act of a sexual nature upon or with a child. The act may be for the sexual gratification of the perpetrator or a third party. This does, therefore, include not only anyone who actively participates in the sexual activity, but anyone who allows or encourages it. CHILD EMOTIONAL ABUSE is defined as the chronic attitude or acts which interfere with the psychological and social development of a child. Each of us probably is guilty of having unkindly snubbed a child or perhaps criticized a child too harshly, but CHILD EMOTIONAL ABUSE is consistent and chronic behavior. It is usually related to a constellation of interactions and is cumulative.

NEGLECT is the failure to act on behalf of a child. It is an act of omission. Neglect may be thought of as child rearing practices which are essentially inadequate or dangerous. NEGLECT may not produce visible signs, and it usually occurs over a period of time. NEGLECT is generally physically or emotional. PHYSICAL NEGLECT is a failure to meet the requirements basic to a child's physical development, such as supervision, housing, clothing, medical attention, nutrition, and support. It should be noted here that some social service agencies further break this category into more specific acts of omission, such as medical neglect, lack of proper supervision, or educational neglect. EMOTIONAL NEGLECT is a failure to provide the support or affection necessary to a child's psychological and social development. Failure on the part of the parent to provide the praise, nurturance, love, or security essential to the child's development of a sound and healthy personality may constitute emotional neglect.

CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT IS A SERIOUS AND WIDESPREAD PROBLEM THAT CANNOT BE STOPPED WITHOUT ALL OF US WORKING TOGETHER. HERE ARE SOME WAYS YOU CAN HELP:

Learn to recognize the warning signals and indicators of child abuse and neglect. If you suspect that a child is a victim of child abuse or neglect, contact the social service agency or call 1-800- 222-5555. Encourage your friends to do the same. Most people do not want to hurt or neglect their children, but are faced with problems they cannot solve alone. Help them get help and save a child from harm. In the case of your own child, talk to your child every day and take time to really listen and observe. Learn as many details as you can about your child's activities and feelings. Encourage your child to share concerns and problems with you. If you do this, there is a better chance that your child will tell you if someone is abusing or trying to abuse him or her. Encourage your friends and neighbors to learn about abuse and neglect. Invite a representative of the KY MULTI-COUNTY TASK FORCES, INC. to talk to your club, church or school group about child abuse and neglect.

A perpetrator of child abuse or neglect can be any person who has care, custody, or control of the child at the relevant time. This could include parent, teacher, babysitter or day care staff person, relative, institution staff person, bus driver, playground attendant, caretaker, boy/girlfriend, or anyone with whom the child has contact. There are also instances when the parent or regular caretaker can be held responsible for abuse or neglect perpetrated by another. For example, when a parent allows the spouse to physically or sexually abuse their child, or when a child is left in inappropriate care and subsequently suffers abuse or neglect. The fact is - there are no simple answers. Abuse or neglect rarely occurs in clear, simple, and specific terms. Abuse or neglect usually result from complex combinations of a range of human and situational factors.

Many of us have been in situations when we felt that life is a little more than we can handle. What stops us from giving up or lashing out are skills and mechanisms we have learned in order to control or divert our anger and frustration, to accept and assume adult responsibilities, to recognize realistic boundaries or acceptable behavior and expectation, and to seek help and support before it's too late. When adults are faced with a situation which requires them to use coping skills that they have not been able to develop, child abuse or neglect often is the result. Although this explanation is oversimplified, it does help us understand how abuse and neglect can occur. It also explains the term "cycle of abuse and neglect". Children learn from their parents. A child who has been raised in a home where violence is an accepted response to frustration will, as an adult, tend to react violently. For this child the skills necessary for controlling anger or frustration are never learned. What is learned is violence. In the same way, a parent who lacks self-esteem or maturity cannot instill these characteristics within their child. Without significant outside influences, the child is likely to become an adult who perceives him/herself and life in the same manner as his/her parent does. Thus, this is the cycle of "abuse and neglect". Adults tend to repeat the actions and attitudes they learned as children.

One general characteristic usually shared by those who abuse or neglect children is ISOLATION. A shoulder to cry on and a friend to lean on are things most of us need. Adults who abuse or neglect children often do not have this support. They are isolated physically and emotionally from family, friends, neighbors, and organized groups. They may even discourage social contact, and rarely will they participate in school or community activities. Another general characteristic is POOR SELF-CONCEPT. Many of these adults perceive themselves as bad, worthless, or unlovable. Children of parents with a poor self-concept are often regarded by their parents as deserving of abuse or neglect, because they see their children as reflections of themselves. They view abuse and neglect as behavior that is expected of them. IMMATURITY is another general characteristic usually shared by adults who abuse or neglect children. This characteristic may be reflected in many ways: impulsive behavior, using the child to meet the adult's own emotional or physical needs; or, a constant craving for change and excitement. In the next article we will discuss other general characteristics such as a LACK OF PARENTING KNOWLEDGE, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, LACK OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS, and UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS.

The last article addressed several common characteristics which are shared by child abusers. Those discussed included ISOLATION, POOR SELF-CONCEPT and IMMATURITY. There are several other common characteristics worthy of mention. Many times, abuse or neglect results because the adult does not understand the child's developmental needs. Society expects people to know the rights and wrongs of parenthood; but, parenthood is complex and it is a difficult job. Abusive parents often are strict disciplinarians who are frustrated from unmet expectations. These parents tend to place unrealistic demands upon their children, and view their child's inability to perform as willful, deliberate disobedience. Thus, professionals call child abuse and neglect from this type of situation a result of a LACK OF PARENTING KNOWLEDGE. Much research is being conducted relative to any correlation between the misuse of drugs and alcohol and the occurrence of child abuse and neglect. While it has not been clearly established whether substance abuse is a causative or a resulting factor, studies indicate that there is a correlation. Therefore SUBSTANCE ABUSE can be a common characteristic. In the next article we will discuss LACK OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS and UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS as common characteristics and begin listing some specific family indicators where abuse and/or neglect is present.

The last two articles have been devoted to the discussion of common characteristics shared by those who abuse and/or neglect children. Among those characteristics discussed to date are ISOLATION, POOR SELF-CONCEPT, IMMATURITY, LACK OF PARENTING KNOWLEDGE, and SUBSTANCE. There are two additional characteristics that must be mentioned in order to complete the scope of identified characteristics. Many abusers and child neglectors lack INTERPERSONAL SKILLS. These adults have never learned to interact with people. They do not know how to form relationships, socialize, and work together. These are skills that should have been learned as children. Lastly, often the abusive or neglectful parent has not met the basic emotional needs which we all share, such as warmth, support and love. The adult is unable to provide the child with these feelings which let us grow and mature. These adults will, instead, seek fulfillment from the child. There are many indicators present within the family where abuse and/or neglect is occurring. Next time, we will explore these indicators, which may be different for each type of abuse and for neglect.

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