A term often used when child maltreatment is discussed is "the cycle of child abuse and neglect." This term describes the frequency of occurrence of abuse and neglect in successive generations of families. Very few parents have had formal preparation for the role of being a parent. There is, instead, a tendency to model parenting behaviors after those learned as a child. For example, a child raised in an environment where severe disciplinary measures are employed will be inclined to use those same disciplinary techniques upon becoming a parent. When praise, love, and nurturance are not received as a child, they cannot easily be given as an adult. This does not mean, however, that all abused or neglected children will grow up to be abusive or neglectful parents. Intervention, education, and a child's individuality are all impacting factors which may influence that child while growing up and may cause that child not to be an abusive or neglectful parent.

Ask your child to draw a picture of a stranger.  Chances are s/he will draw an ugly, monster-looking person with a distorted face, etc.  Actually, strangers look just like any other person, including you and me. Teaching your child to 'never talk to strangers' may, in fact, be counterproductive to the safety of your child.  Statistics show that the vast majority of child abduction cases were by adults known by the child - not by a stranger.  It is also possible that a stranger may be a nearby person who could rescue the child if the child would communicate to the stranger at the time of abduction.  Instead of teaching your child to 'fear' strangers, it is more productive to teach your child the art of interpreting the situation, evaluating the surrounding circumstances, regardless of who the adult is - whether it be a stranger or someone the child knows.  Children can be taught situational analysis to include the ability to escape from an attempted abduction by any adult.

If the sexual abuser is a stranger, s/he will abuse the child once. This type of perpetrator will abuse many children a single time, generally stopping only if caught. On an average, this stranger abuser, also known as a 'pedophile', will abuse seven children before he's caught. He usually limits his victims to distinct age, sex and physical attributes of a preference range. When the sexual abuser is known to the child, the methods of seduction usually are very different. The abuse will frequently be of long duration, escalating in frequency and intimacy over time. The "known abuser" builds upon his relationship with the child, using the child's innocence and trust as the main weapons.

This is probably the single most controversial area within the field of child rearing. It is extremely difficult to define right and wrong parenting practices. One must be sensitive to the fact that many families employ practices to which we all may not be accustomed. This may be due to cultural, financial, religious, or any number of different reasons. This difference alone may not make a situation abusive or neglectful. The intent of Kentucky law is not to ensure that all families are alike and that they all discipline their children in the same exact way using the same exact techniques. The intent of the law is to ensure that children are not in an environment which places them in danger. The key to recognizing if a parenting practice is abusive or neglectful is not whether is fits within our idea of proper parenting, but whether it places a child's physical or emotional well-being at risk. While spanking as a disciplinary measure may continue to be debated by the experts as being or not being abusive, there is one thing which is very clear - the key to successful disciplinary practices is to start the discipline when the child is first born. If you develop your expectations then, it will be much easier to get the wanted results later.

The differences between abuse and neglect is that abuse represents an action against a child while neglect represents a lack of action for the child. In other words, abuse may be thought of an act of commission while neglect is an act of omission. In abuse, a physical or mental injury is inflicted upon a child. In neglect, there is a failure to meet the minimum needs of the child such as the need for adequate food, supervision, shelter, guidance, education, clothing, or medical care. It may be mentioned at this point that abuse may be directed toward only one child in the family while neglect usually involves all the children in the family.

There is no tendency for neglect to occur more frequently in any age group. It has been found, however, that children under the age of six are at a higher risk than children of any other age group. This may be the result of continual care children of this age group require, developmental inabilities to reason and understand, unrealistic behavioral and developmental expectations which frequently are placed upon children of this age, and a physical inability for self-protection. Both neglect and abuse, however, can and do occur at any age. Since professionals tend to "see" older children, the reporting rate for incidents involving school-age children is higher than that involving preschool children.

Some believe that most abusive or neglectful adults suffer from some form of mental illness. It is estimated that only 10 percent of adults who abuse or neglect children actually suffer from a mental disorder. Most of the other 90 percent can be successfully treated if professional intervention occurs. The reasons why adults abuse or neglect children are as varied as the individuals themselves. Certain factors, however, such as a lack of parenting skills and knowledge, excessive stress within the family and isolation from the support of family and friends, are known to contribute to the occurrence of abuse or neglect.

Bruises on the elbows, knees, shin, or forehead are likely to be accidental in a preschooler. Many such injuries are the result of the normal bumps and falls commonly experienced by children of this age. The presence of bruises or cuts on a child does not necessarily mean that a child has been abused. Injuries should be noted in light of the child's ability to cause such injuries. The older the child, the greater the ability to perform tasks which might result in injury. Bruises which occur on the back, thighs, buttocks, face or back of the legs are less likely to be accidental. Any injury on an infant is suspect and should be followed immediately by a medical examination.

To a child, the fear of the unknown may be more frightening than the abuse itself. Children often will try to hide their injuries in an attempt to protect the abuser especially if the abuser is a parent or caretaker. The child may feel that the punishment received was deserved or that the abuser will be punished or removed from the home if the abuse is discovered. The child may believe that he or she will be removed from the home if the abuse is reported. In the same way, other family members may try to protect an abusive parent or pretend that the abuse is not occurring. The occurrence of abuse within a home does not mean that strong bonds do not exist between family members. Fear of the severe punishment or breakup of the family unit may prevent the reporting of abuse. Sexual abuse is often accompanied by threats of violence or retaliation if the abuse were to be reported. The child is made to feel responsible for the abuse and any action which may take place as a result of reporting the abuse. Many children simply do not trust that anyone will believe them or listen to them if they report the abuse.

Kentucky Law states that a report should be made if one has reason to believe that abuse or neglect is occurring - this means if one suspects abuse or neglect for any reason. Physical proof or validation is not required by the reporter. It is not the responsibility of the one reporting abuse or neglect to determine if abuse or neglect is in fact occurring or any of the circumstances surrounding its occurrence. Making the determination is the legally mandated function of the children services and/or police agency. To provide necessary information for the investigation of the report, the one reporting abuse or neglect will be asked for information concerning the child, the perpetrator, and the abuse or neglect. Certain information, such as the age of the child or identity of the abuser, may be unknown to the reporter. Although this information is helpful to the investigative agency, it is not necessary for making a report of abuse or neglect.

Kentucky's law not only mandates the reporting of abuse or neglect, it specifically states that "any person, including but not limited to a physician, osteopathic physician, nurse, teacher, school personnel, social worker, coroner, medical examiner, child-caring personnel, resident, intern, chiropractor, dentist, optometrist, emergency medical technician, paramedic, health professional, mental health professional, peace officer or any organization or agency for any of the above, who knows or has reasonable cause to believe that a child is dependent, neglected or abused, regardless of whether the person believed to have caused the dependency, neglect or abuse is a parent, guardian, person exercising custodial control or supervision or another person, or who has attended such a child as a part of his/her professional duties shall cause a report to be made of such information to a local law enforcement agency, Kentucky State Police, Department of Social Services, Commonwealth's or County Attorney".

Although no statute can forbid the filing of civil or criminal charges, Kentucky law protects the reporter of suspected child abuse or neglect from any decision or award which might be sought through the filing of such a claim. Under Kentucky law, any person participating in making a report of suspected child abuse or neglect is immune from civil or criminal liability that might otherwise be incurred or imposed as a result of such action if the reporting is done so in good faith. Therefore, in order to be immune from any civil or criminal action, the reporter of child abuse or neglect must be acting in good faith when reporting to the authorities. Any person making a report maliciously and without reason and who does not believe that abuse or neglect is occurring or has occurred is not immune from civil or criminal action.

The identity of the person who reports abuse or neglect is protected under Kentucky law. Every report of suspected abuse or neglect is confidential. Administrative rules which govern the receipt of child abuse or neglect reports specifically prohibit the children services worker from identifying the reporter in any way. It should be realized, however, that although steps will be taken to protect the identity of the person who reports, the nature of the complaint or the circumstances described may allow a family to attribute the report to a specific source. Still, when evaluating whether or not to report, the benefits to the family and child far outweigh this consideration. A report of suspected child abuse or neglect is not an attempt to harm or punish a family, but, rather, an attempt to help. A report may be the only chance the child has for protection and the family has to obtain outside support.

It is a generally accepted belief that when a child tells someone that s/he has been or is being touched in a sexual way the child is telling the factual truth.  In most cases this is correct.  However, research has found that a child may create the facts and circumstances of sexual abuse through the Theory of Suggestibility.  This is brought about when an adult makes suggestions through words or actions in the presence of a child over a period of time that suggest that the child has been or is being sexually abused.  The child will believe that s/he has actually experienced the abuse when, in fact, the child has not.  Child sexual abuse investigators have an increased responsibility to practice objective investigative techniques to assure that the child's disclosure of sexual abuse is factual and not a product of an adult's subtle suggestive comments and/or actions.

Maltreated children can be found in all income groups. According to the National Study of the Incidence and Severity of Child Abuse and Neglect, children from low-income families are, however, more likely to suffer maltreatment than are children from higher income families. This finding would tend to lend some weight to the hypothesis that various environmental and family stresses associated with low income contribute to child abuse and neglect. A widely accepted explanation is that children from low-income families are not necessarily more likely to be abused or neglected, but are more likely to be reported because of a greater exposure to the public health and day care systems. The most persistent characteristic of child abuse and neglect is its universality. No geographic, ethnic, or economic setting is free of child abuse and neglect. In fact, the National Study of the Incidence and Severity of Child Abuse and Neglect found the incidence rates to be similar for urban, suburban, and rural communities.

It is estimated that in 80% of the cases of sexual abuse, the perpetrator is an adult known to the child. Only 20% of the incidents involve the menacing stranger children are warned about. Many other myths accompany the "stranger in a raincoat" perception of child sexual abuse. Sexual abuse usually does not occur as an isolated incident, but is a long-term situation which develops gradually. Sexual abuse is not always accompanied by violence and physical force; it may be the result of subtle forms of coercion, such as the use of adult-child authority or parent-child bonds. Young children do not have the developmental or emotional capability to choose to engage in sexual activity with an adult. Therefore, all sexual abuse, regardless of the form of coercion employed by the perpetrator, is the result of force.

Although some forms of abuse and neglect are more difficult to detect than others, there are signs or indicators which singly or together suggest that a child may be in need of help. The key is in learning to recognize and be alert to these indicators. In many instances, the indicators will be environmental or behavioral, not physical. Children tend to act as barometers of the family environment.  The child may have unusual or unexplained bruises, welts, cuts or other injuries, broken bones, or burns which may indicate physical abuse.  Torn, stained or bloody underwear, trouble walking or sitting, pain or itching in the genital area, bruises or bleeding in the genital area, or a sexually transmitted disease may be signs of sexual abuse.  Emotional abuse may include speech disorder, slowed physical development, behavior which is too mature or too childish for the age of the child, or have difficulty in making friends or keeping friends.  Neglect may be detected by signs of poor hygiene, slowed physical development or appear to be underweight, unattended medical needs and little or no supervision at home.

Being a parent is difficult. At times, it's so difficult that the parent becomes frustrated, loses control, and overreacts. This is the most common cause of child abuse. A parent is not a bad parent because he or she feels that they can no longer stand the demands made upon them. The children services agency staff are trained to help families under stress. The agency cannot make the problems suddenly disappear, but it can help.

When a child may be left alone is the most often asked question and the most difficult to answer about child care. Like most questions concerning the family, there is no one response. When determining the appropriateness of a child being left alone, there are many factors to consider. A primary factor, of course, is the child's age.  Other factors include the time of day, the child's maturity level, the length of time the child will be left alone, the child's proximity and accessibility to trusted adults, and the child's knowledge of safety techniques. Again, the underlying factor is whether the situation places the child at risk of harm. If you are unsure, err in the favor of safety and notify your local children services agency if you know a child who is being left alone and you believe that he or she is at risk.

To protect your children from sexual abuse, you should teach them to beware of the "stranger in the park".  While this is a good idea and all children should be taught the dangers of the unknown, in most instances of sexual abuse, the abuser is someone the child knows and trusts. The abuser may be a member of the family, a relative, a babysitter, or a neighbor. In only 20% of the incidents of sexual assault is the abuser a stranger to the child, and in only 10% is the abuser over 50 years of age.

Sexual abuse of children usually occurs between adult men who exploit young girls. While there are cases of adult women who exploit young boys, the majority of cases that are referred to child protection agencies involve adult men and underage girls. When boys are abused or exploited, they too are usually the victims of adult males. This is not to say that other types of abuse do not occur, merely that they are not reported at the same rate. Among the reported victims of incest, for example, girls outnumber boys seven to one. Some researchers hold the opinion that sibling incest is by far the most widespread form of incest. The comparatively lower rate of reported mother-son incest may be the result of the lower incidence of accompanying physical injury, a societal perception of its being less harmful, or a general disbelief in its existence.

The child sexual abuser rarely uses physical violence and usually will avoid its use since injury may lead to discovery. The sexual abuser is more likely to use power and authority as an adult (or older child) to coerce the child victim through bribes, threats, and the child's fear of the unknown. Children are taught to obey without question or resistance. The abuser's most powerful weapons are authority and secrecy.

They are female. They are 12 or younger. They are usually relatives or acquaintances. Who are they? They are the people most likely to be victimized by sex offenders, according to an extensive inmate-based study by the Bureau of Justice Statistics. The study, which canvassed some 14,000 inmates imprisoned in 1991 or earlier for violent crimes, found that two-thirds of convicted sex offenders victimized a child, and that one-third raped or sexually assaulted their own child or stepchild. Of an estimated 61,000 offenders serving time for violent crimes against victims under 18, nearly 10 percent had been convicted of the murder or manslaughter of a child; 15 percent had been convicted of forcible rape; and, 57 percent had been found guilty of other types of sexual assault, including sodomy, statutory rape, and lewd acts. An estimated 30 percent had attacked more than one child during the incident for which they were imprisoned.

Unless you are clinically trained and given the opportunity for diagnostic assessment, it is unlikely that you can identify a child sexual abuser. S/he usually does not suffer from pathological mental illness. S/he is likely to engage in ordinary work or social activities, and s/he appears normal. It is difficult to "avoid" a child sexual abuser. Even the most cautious and vigilant of parents cannot, nor would they want to, keep a 24-hour watch on their child. Besides, the adult who is prone to sexually abuse children often chooses work or activities which bring him/her into contact with the children. The best line of defense against sexual abuse is education. The second is communication. Parents are primary teachers of children and are responsible for showing them how to survive and how to cope with life. The first thing parents can do to protect their children is to teach them to protect themselves by communicating their fears and by talking about their daily activities.

A seductive or promiscuous child often is the result, but never the cause, of sexual abuse. One characteristic common to sexual abusers is a capacity for rationalizing their actions, mentally justifying an illegal, unacceptable, and inappropriate behavior as necessary and alright. Perpetrating the myth of the seductive or sexually promiscuous child by claiming it's the child's fault is one way of doing this. Through this type of reasoning, the abuser shifts the blame for his/her actions onto someone else. In the same manner, incestuous parents often justify their own sexual behavior as a way of teaching the child or keeping him off the street. These justifications ignore the abuser's responsibility as an adult, the child's vulnerability and dependency on the adult, and the long-term harm to the child.

There are several theories why adults sexually molest children. These differences probably reflect the wide spectrum of personality types involved, the complexity of the problem, and the difference in types of sexual abuser which occur - from the sadistic "stranger" rape to the long-term incestual relationship. One theory sees child sexual abuse not as a sexual offense committed for sexual gratification, but as an act of power. The child sexual abuser is characterized, for any number of reasons, by an inability to hold his/her own in an adult-to-adult relationship. To gain control, the abuser seeks personal fulfillment through a child. The abuser believes it is his/her right to use the bodies of children and that his needs come first, over the needs of those who are weak, defenseless and vulnerable. Some clinicians disagree with this theory and we'll discuss their theory in the next article.

The last article discussed the theory held by some professionals that child sexual abuse is not a sexual offense committed for sexual gratification. They view sexual abuse as an act of power. The abuser believes it is his/her right to use the bodies of children and that his/her needs come first over those who are weak, defenseless and vulnerable. Now, let us look at another theory held by some clinicians who disagree with this approach and believe it is important to acknowledge the sexuality of child sexual abuse. They believe that to ignore the sexual aspect in treatment and prevention is to avoid the central issue. They believe that sexual abuse of children, regardless of the form it takes, is a sexual act which results in sexual gratification for the perpetrator. There is a recognized clinical condition, pedophilia, which describes a persistent and long-term sexual interest in children. Pedophiles differ in typology and primary sexual orientation. The pedophile may confine his/her sexual contact to children or have co-existing sexual relationships with adults of his/her same age group. An examination of the wide difference in opinion regarding the causes of child sexual abuse is important because of two reasons. First, the inability to identify the right or wrong approach brings attention to the human factor in child sexual abuse. Each case, each incident, is unique, characterized by the individuals involved. The fact is there is no one cause or reason for child sexual abuse. Second, there is no easy solution to difficult problems. We do not have all of the answers, and there is still much work to be done for children, their families, and people who sexually abuse children.

Socioeconomic status is of no help in identifying child sexual abuse. This is true whether we are speaking of the family of the victim or the family of the perpetrator. Sexual abuse appears to occur at all levels of income and education. Most of the families present an appearance of respectability. The vast majority of the perpetrators, before disclosure, hold jobs, function well in the community, and are respected by their peers. Most children who are victims of incest do not want to leave their family or have it disrupted. They simply want the abuse to stop.

Even when faced with evidence, the denial system of the family is usually very strong. Generally, family members will assert that nothing has happened or, if confronted with undeniable evidence, claim that "it will never happen again". In this situation, treatment is very difficult. If the victim returns home without intensive intervention in the family system, the old patterns of sexual abuse will continue.

Child abuse represents an action against a child. It is an act of commission. Generally, child abuse is categorized as physical, sexual, and emotional. To be more specific, CHILD PHYSICAL ABUSE is the non-accidental injury of a child. CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE is any act of a sexual nature upon or with a child. The act may be for the sexual gratification of the perpetrator or a third party. This does, therefore, include not only anyone who actively participates in the sexual activity, but anyone who allows or encourages it. CHILD EMOTIONAL ABUSE is defined as the chronic attitude or acts which interfere with the psychological and social development of a child. Each of us probably is guilty of having unkindly snubbed a child or perhaps criticized a child too harshly, but CHILD EMOTIONAL ABUSE is consistent and chronic behavior. It is usually related to a constellation of interactions and is cumulative.

NEGLECT is the failure to act on behalf of a child. It is an act of omission. Neglect may be thought of as child rearing practices which are essentially inadequate or dangerous. NEGLECT may not produce visible signs, and it usually occurs over a period of time. NEGLECT is generally physically or emotional. PHYSICAL NEGLECT is a failure to meet the requirements basic to a child's physical development, such as supervision, housing, clothing, medical attention, nutrition, and support. It should be noted here that some social service agencies further break this category into more specific acts of omission, such as medical neglect, lack of proper supervision, or educational neglect. EMOTIONAL NEGLECT is a failure to provide the support or affection necessary to a child's psychological and social development. Failure on the part of the parent to provide the praise, nurturance, love, or security essential to the child's development of a sound and healthy personality may constitute emotional neglect.

CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT IS A SERIOUS AND WIDESPREAD PROBLEM THAT CANNOT BE STOPPED WITHOUT ALL OF US WORKING TOGETHER. HERE ARE SOME WAYS YOU CAN HELP:

Learn to recognize the warning signals and indicators of child abuse and neglect. If you suspect that a child is a victim of child abuse or neglect, contact the social service agency or call 1-800- 222-5555. Encourage your friends to do the same. Most people do not want to hurt or neglect their children, but are faced with problems they cannot solve alone. Help them get help and save a child from harm. In the case of your own child, talk to your child every day and take time to really listen and observe. Learn as many details as you can about your child's activities and feelings. Encourage your child to share concerns and problems with you. If you do this, there is a better chance that your child will tell you if someone is abusing or trying to abuse him or her. Encourage your friends and neighbors to learn about abuse and neglect. Invite a representative of the KY MULTI-COUNTY TASK FORCES, INC. to talk to your club, church or school group about child abuse and neglect.

A perpetrator of child abuse or neglect can be any person who has care, custody, or control of the child at the relevant time. This could include parent, teacher, babysitter or day care staff person, relative, institution staff person, bus driver, playground attendant, caretaker, boy/girlfriend, or anyone with whom the child has contact. There are also instances when the parent or regular caretaker can be held responsible for abuse or neglect perpetrated by another. For example, when a parent allows the spouse to physically or sexually abuse their child, or when a child is left in inappropriate care and subsequently suffers abuse or neglect. The fact is - there are no simple answers. Abuse or neglect rarely occurs in clear, simple, and specific terms. Abuse or neglect usually result from complex combinations of a range of human and situational factors.

Many of us have been in situations when we felt that life is a little more than we can handle. What stops us from giving up or lashing out are skills and mechanisms we have learned in order to control or divert our anger and frustration, to accept and assume adult responsibilities, to recognize realistic boundaries or acceptable behavior and expectation, and to seek help and support before it's too late. When adults are faced with a situation which requires them to use coping skills that they have not been able to develop, child abuse or neglect often is the result. Although this explanation is oversimplified, it does help us understand how abuse and neglect can occur. It also explains the term "cycle of abuse and neglect". Children learn from their parents. A child who has been raised in a home where violence is an accepted response to frustration will, as an adult, tend to react violently. For this child the skills necessary for controlling anger or frustration are never learned. What is learned is violence. In the same way, a parent who lacks self-esteem or maturity cannot instill these characteristics within their child. Without significant outside influences, the child is likely to become an adult who perceives him/herself and life in the same manner as his/her parent does. Thus, this is the cycle of "abuse and neglect". Adults tend to repeat the actions and attitudes they learned as children.

One general characteristic usually shared by those who abuse or neglect children is ISOLATION. A shoulder to cry on and a friend to lean on are things most of us need. Adults who abuse or neglect children often do not have this support. They are isolated physically and emotionally from family, friends, neighbors, and organized groups. They may even discourage social contact, and rarely will they participate in school or community activities. Another general characteristic is POOR SELF-CONCEPT. Many of these adults perceive themselves as bad, worthless, or unlovable. Children of parents with a poor self-concept are often regarded by their parents as deserving of abuse or neglect, because they see their children as reflections of themselves. They view abuse and neglect as behavior that is expected of them. IMMATURITY is another general characteristic usually shared by adults who abuse or neglect children. This characteristic may be reflected in many ways: impulsive behavior, using the child to meet the adult's own emotional or physical needs; or, a constant craving for change and excitement. In the next article we will discuss other general characteristics such as a LACK OF PARENTING KNOWLEDGE, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, LACK OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS, and UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS.

The last article addressed several common characteristics which are shared by child abusers. Those discussed included ISOLATION, POOR SELF-CONCEPT and IMMATURITY. There are several other common characteristics worthy of mention. Many times, abuse or neglect results because the adult does not understand the child's developmental needs. Society expects people to know the rights and wrongs of parenthood; but, parenthood is complex and it is a difficult job. Abusive parents often are strict disciplinarians who are frustrated from unmet expectations. These parents tend to place unrealistic demands upon their children, and view their child's inability to perform as willful, deliberate disobedience. Thus, professionals call child abuse and neglect from this type of situation a result of a LACK OF PARENTING KNOWLEDGE. Much research is being conducted relative to any correlation between the misuse of drugs and alcohol and the occurrence of child abuse and neglect. While it has not been clearly established whether substance abuse is a causative or a resulting factor, studies indicate that there is a correlation. Therefore SUBSTANCE ABUSE can be a common characteristic. In the next article we will discuss LACK OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS and UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS as common characteristics and begin listing some specific family indicators where abuse and/or neglect is present.

The last two articles have been devoted to the discussion of common characteristics shared by those who abuse and/or neglect children. Among those characteristics discussed to date are ISOLATION, POOR SELF-CONCEPT, IMMATURITY, LACK OF PARENTING KNOWLEDGE, and SUBSTANCE. There are two additional characteristics that must be mentioned in order to complete the scope of identified characteristics. Many abusers and child neglectors lack INTERPERSONAL SKILLS. These adults have never learned to interact with people. They do not know how to form relationships, socialize, and work together. These are skills that should have been learned as children. Lastly, often the abusive or neglectful parent has not met the basic emotional needs which we all share, such as warmth, support and love. The adult is unable to provide the child with these feelings which let us grow and mature. These adults will, instead, seek fulfillment from the child. There are many indicators present within the family where abuse and/or neglect is occurring. Next time, we will explore these indicators, which may be different for each type of abuse and for neglect.

Certain behavior patterns can be observed in a family where abuse is occurring. In the family where physical abuse is occurring, the abusive adult may have unrealistic high standards and expectations for himself/herself and his children. S/he may be rigid, compulsive, hostile, aggressive, impulsive with poor emotional control, authoritative and demanding. S/he may fear or resent authority. S/he may be cruel, sadistic, irrational and incapable of child rearing. Perhaps s/he trusts no one. S/he may believe in the necessity of harsh physical discipline and accepts violence as a viable means of problem resolution. S/he probably reacts to a child with impatience or annoyance because s/he has an undue fear of spoiling the child. The abuser is usually overcritical of the child and seldom discusses the child in positive terms. S/he lacks understanding of the child's physical and emotional needs and lacks an understanding of the child's developmental capabilities.

In the last article, several indicators were presented which are typical of a family where physical abuse is occurring within that family. Now, let us mention several other indicators. In a family where physical abuse is occurring, the abusive adult will be reluctant or unable to explain the child's injuries or condition, or will give explanations which are farfetched or inconsistent with the injury. S/he will either over or under react to the child's injuries and will not consent to diagnostic studies of the child. The abuser will have the child treated by a different hospital or physician each time the child needs medical attention. The family will fail to keep doctor's appointments. The abuser will perceive himself/herself as alone, without friends or support, and will view seeking or accepting help as a weakness. S/he will be under pressure and will have an emotionally dependent spouse. S/he will be engaged in a dominant-passive marital relationship and will be experiencing marital problems. The abuser will have been physically abused himself/herself as a child. When sexual abuse is occurring within a family, there are several additional indicators which are easily identified. They will be discussed in the next article.

The abusive adult may be overly protective of the child. S/he will probably refuse to allow the child to participate in social activities and will be jealous of the child's friends or activities. S/he will accuse the child of promiscuity and s/he will distrust the child. The abuser will be having marital problems. There will be a strong need for him/her to be in control or s/he will fear losing control. S/he will be domineering, rigid, or authoritarian. S/he will favor a "special" child in the family and will have been sexually abused himself/herself as a child. The next article will look at the family where emotional abuse is occurring.

In a family where a child is being emotionally abused, the abusive adult may act irrationally or appear to be out of touch with reality. S/he will be deeply depressed and exhibit extreme mood swings. The abuser will constantly belittle the child or describe the child in terms such as "bad," "different," and "stupid". The abusive adult may be cruel or sadistic and be ambivalent towards the child. S/he will expect behavior that is inappropriate to the child's age or development capabilities and will consistently shame the child for not being able to perform to the abuser's demands. The child will be threatened with loss of love, food, shelter, or clothing. The child's health and safety may be threatened as well. The child will be rejected and discriminated against especially if other children are in the family. Other indicators may involve the abuser being active in criminal activity. S/he may use bizarre or extreme methods of punishment. S/he will avoid contact with the child, seldom touching, holding or caressing him/her, and will avoid even looking or smiling at the child. The abuser probably was himself/herself a victim of abuse or neglect as a child.

In a family where neglect is occurring, the neglecting adult may be apathetic and have a constant craving for excitement and change. The adult will express dissatisfaction with his/her life and express a desire to be free of the demands of the child. There will be a lack of interest in the child's activities. The adult will have a low acceptance of the child’s dependency needs and will be generally unskilled as a parent. The neglecting adult will have little planning or organizational skills. S/he may appear to be unkempt and will perceive the child as a burden or bother. S/he will be occupied more with his/her own problems than with the child's problems. The child will seldom be discussed in positive terms and the neglecting adult will be overcritical of the child in most every respect. There are several other family indicators where neglect is occurring and those will be discussed in the next article.

The last article addressed several family indicators which are present in a family where neglect is occurring. These included the neglecting adult being apathetic and having a constant craving for excitement and change and his/her desire to be free from the demands of the child. In addition to these expectations of the child, another indicator is expecting or demanding behavior which is beyond the child's years of ability. The neglecting adult will seldom touch or look at the child, and in the case of an infant, the child will be left alone in a crib for long periods of time. The adult will be difficult to locate because s/he will be preoccupied with his/her own projects forgetting or ignoring the needs of the child. The neglecting adult will lack an understanding of the child's physical or emotional needs and will himself/herself be moody or sad. The adult will fit the clinical description "passive and dependent". S/he will lack understanding of the child's developmental capabilities. S/he will fail to keep appointments involving the child and will not return telephone calls concerning the child. Probably, s/he will have been neglected himself/herself as a child.

Although some forms of abuse and neglect are more difficult to detect than others, there always are signs - clues - which, singly or together, suggest that a child might be in need of help. Two types of clues are usually given by an abused or neglected child. There are physical indicators. These clues are the easiest to detect and diagnose. Aspects of the child's appearance and the presence of bodily injury are physical indicators. There are behavioral indicators. Often, children will send messages through their behavior which suggest the occurrence of abuse or neglect. These clues may be in the form of "acting out" behaviors or behaviors which reflect the child's attempt to cope with or hide the abuse or neglect. Behavioral indicators are more difficult to detect and interpret than physical indicators.

Child maltreatment falls in one or more of four general categories - physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect. There are clues to recognizing this maltreatment. First, we will look at those physical indicators which may be present in cases of physical abuse. There may be unexplained, chronic, or repeated bruising. One should be especially alert to bruises on the face, throat, upper arms, buttocks, thighs, or lower back. Bruises in unusual patterns or shapes may suggest the use of an instrument (loop, lash, linear, circular, or rectangular marks). Bruises on a infant are always suspect. Bruises in the shape of a bite or pinch marks, or located in clusters, or in various stages of healing, may suggest physical abuse.

Child maltreatment falls in one or more of four general categories - physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect. There are clues to recognizing this maltreatment. Unexplained burns may be an indicator of abuse. Be especially alert to cigarette burns. This type of burn is circular, and often found on the child's palms, soles of feet, genitalia or abdomen. Immersion burns characteristically will produce sharp lines of demarcation and appear on the buttocks, genital area, or extremities. On the hands and feet, burns can produce a "glove" or "stocking" effect. On the buttocks, immersion burns will often be "doughnut shaped". Oftentimes rope burns may indicate abuse, as well as burns in the shape of common household utensils or appliances.

First and foremost, you should report child abuse to protect the child. The intent of the law is not to hurt or punish, it is to get help to children and families in need. We all have a stake in the protection of Kentucky's children. Studies have linked child abuse and neglect to a wide range of criminal and social misbehaviors. Why? Violence breeds violence. The only method of response the victim of child abuse may know is physical force or aggression. The lessons necessary to the development of interpersonal skills may never have been taught in the abusive or neglectful environment. The emotional damage which may result from child abuse or neglect is often vented through self-destructive expressions such as substance abuse, running away, prostitution, suicide; and antisocial expressions such as rape, murder and the continuation of child abuse and neglect.

One should report any child under 18 years of age who you have reason to believe has suffered any form of child abuse or neglect. It is important to note that you need to only suspect or have reason to believe that abuse or neglect is occurring; physical proof or other forms of validation are not required from the reporter. It is the responsibility of the children service agency, through its investigation, to determine if abuse or neglect is in fact occurring.

A report of child abuse or neglect may be made by telephone, in person, or in writing to the children service agency in the county where the child lives or was abused or neglected. Reports may also be made to any law enforcement agency with jurisdiction in the county, the County Attorney or the Commonwealth Attorney.

When reporting child abuse or neglect there is information which the reporter should be able to give to the child service worker who takes the report. Examples of that information are as follows:

• The name and address of the child you suspect is being abused or neglected.
• The exact or approximate age of the child.
• Is the child a boy or girl?
• The name and address of the parent or caretaker of the child.
• The reason you suspect the child is being abused or neglected.
• Any other information which may be helpful to the investigation.
• You may remain anonymous, but you may give your name if you wish.

It is helpful if you provide as much of the above listed information as possible. You should not hesitate to report if you do not have all the information. Any uncertainty regarding whether to report should be resolved in favor of the child's protection.

Remember a secret, a secret you couldn't share? You thought about it all the time, because you wanted to tell. You were ashamed of what people would think if they knew, or afraid of what would happen if you told. You might have thought no one would understand or, even worse, believe you. Children of abuse or neglect carry a secret like this.

While children generally do not tell, there may be a time when a child tells you, openly or indirectly, about abuse or neglect in the child's family. Recognize the strength this child has demonstrated by sharing the secret, and honor the trust the child has shown by choosing you as the confidant. Although it may be a difficult subject for you to discuss, it is important that you handle the disclosure with sensitivity. The next two articles will address specific guidelines on how to handle a disclosure of abuse or neglect.

How you handle a disclosure of abuse or neglect by a child is critical in how the case can be processed and how the child is protected. First, listen to what the child is telling you. Do not project or assume anything. Do not push the child to share more than he/she is willing. Do not put words in the child's mouth or ask the child leading questions. The child needs warmth and acceptance, not curiosity or interrogation. It is not necessary at this time for the child to reveal specific or intimate details. Second, reassure the child that he/she has done the right thing by telling you. Acknowledge the difficulty of his/her decision and the personal strength he/she has shown in making the choice to tell. Make it clear that the abuse is not his/her fault and that he/she is not bad or to blame. Third, keep your own feelings under control. Be calm and nonjudgmental. Do not express such emotions as shock, embarrassment, anger or disgust. Do not criticize or belittle the child's family or the person the child may name as the abuser. Fourth, use the child's own vocabulary. The child may relate the abuse or neglect to you by using family terminology. Do not try to substitute more polite or correct words. Fifth, do not promise not to tell. Know your limits. This is not a situation you can or should try to handle by yourself. You are going to have to tell. The next article will complete our discussion on the guidelines to follow should a child disclose to you that he/she is being abused or neglected.

The last article provided several guidelines to exercise should a child disclose to you the fact that he/she is being abused or neglected. Several other guidelines are discussed here. First, tell the truth. Do not make promises to the child that you cannot keep, particularly relating to secrecy, court involvement, placement and caseworker decisions. After abuse or neglect has been disclosed, there may be actions taken over which neither you nor the child will have control. Second, be specific. Let the child know exactly what is going to happen. Tell the child that you are going to report the situation to the children's service agency. Third, be supportive. Remember why the child came to you. He/She needs your help, support and guidance. Be there for him/her. Let him/her know that telling about the abuse or neglect is the right thing to do and it is the only way to stop it. Fourth, report the abuse or neglect to your local children's services agency, law enforcement agency, or call our hotline number at 1-800-468-8920 for assistance in reporting it.

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